Before Being a Mother & a Single Parent

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I always had this plan that I was going to graduate High school and go to college and graduate before having my children. I did manage to graduate high school in 4 before having my kids but I wasn’t ready at that moment to be a parent. It was my 21’st  birthday and I wanted to party, and have fun and explore. That came to a halt when I was told I was 5 weeks pregnant two months after my birthday. My first thought was “Damn it!” I wasn’t ready for this, my second thought was my family because they are so very opinionated and very critical of others so I was nervous and afraid to share the news with them. My dad found out by making a joke about me might being pregnant because I was always tired, well that’s one sign lol, I simply confirmed his suspicion and he was shocked to the point his jaws dropped to the floor. My mom was trying to make me think of other ways to handle it all and I was not going down that road at all. My family eventually got over it. My kids dad wasn’t exactly on board at first either but eventually he came around and changed his mind and his attitude about me being pregnant which was joyous for me.

After having my kids it was hard 21 going on 22 with twins I didn’t know how to deal or how to cope for a minute, but I managed and I do thank my family for their help and support to us. I never wanted neglect my babies but there were times when I felt overwhelmed and I felt like I had to have an outside break. I realized I was going to screw myself up if I didn’t focus on what was important and that was the well being of myself and my children. I had to Grow Up! I had to live up to what I have put before me. I would look  at my babies and keep saying we will have better. I am determined by any means to make sure they are secure  healthy and loved if it kills me. Their dad was like a “Bouncing Ball” he was everywhere he enjoyed the night life and the women I couldn’t continue to accept this behavior for me or my kids. So we parted ways.

Now my babies are 6 and I must say while I didn’t ask to be a single parent, no one does really but I am proud of myself for being able to raise multiples on my own. I must say without family support I probably would have broken down. I still have those moments when things get overwhelming but it makes me stronger it makes me fight for more so my kids have more. When the time comes I will have this discussion with my kids but I will also tell them do all the things you can possibly do before starting a family. Achieve your dreams and don’t settle for less.

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